Friday, May 10, 2013

Session 13: Climbing the Ladder to Love and Resistance

This week's session was on personal transformation for collective liberation. One article that really stood out to me is "From White Racist to White Anti-Racist: The Life-Long Journey".  In the article, they lay out a "ladder of empowerment", which shows the trajectory of growth from ignorance (ie racism doesn't exist, to feelings of guilt and shame, to finally a community of love and resistance with many steps in between.  This ladder was super helpful in helping me to track my own path and in reminding me that it's a long journey from ignorance to anti-racist politics, and that we have to give each other time and space and also challenge each other to climb up the metaphorical ladder.
Rather than try to capture what they say, I'd recommend checking out the article here. Where do you fit in the ladder? Where do you want to be? In the next month? Year? 5 years? What changes can you make to get there? What resources do you have to do that? Who do you have in your life to hold you accountable to climb that ladder and sustain you at the top?

In session we focused on the idea of idealized self image and did an activity to bring awareness to the ego we bring into movement work.  Picture an iceberg.

At the top of the iceberg, peaking out of the water is your idealized self image (ISI).  This is the image of yourself you want to project to the world.  We used this to talk about the image of ourselves we project as anti-racist organizers.  Some examples of things that came up for people (remember, this is our idealized self, so it's intentionally exaggerated): "I get people of color, people of color get me", "I've got this privilege thing all figured out", "I'm good at solving problems", "I'm well resourced and helpful", "I'm open to feedback", "I have good ideas", "I'm needed in the movement", "Ugh, white people" , "Being a good anti-racist means taking up little space and never talking", "I'm efficient and effective", "I'm going to always say yes regardless of my own emotional and mental health because that's what it means to be a good ally".  These are just a few examples of how ISI plays out for different people. As you can see, although there are many different experiences that sometimes contradict each other, very few are productive in our own sustainability in the movement and our own growth and transformation.

The next part of the iceberg, right under the water, is fears, insecurities, self doubts, that are responsible for our ISI.  Some examples from the group:  "Fear of being wrong," "Fear of not having the answers," "Fear of isolation, of being alone without community," "Self worth tied to being irreplaceable in the movement," "Fear of not being the perfect anti-racist ally," "insecurity that I'm just doing this work for my own good."

The bottom of the iceberg, meant to ground us and move out of these fears, insecurities, and self-doubts, is about deep intentions, motivations, and core commitments to movement work.  What keeps me motivated is the vision of a world where people can move freely throughout the world - not forced by lack of work or violence nor prohibited by falsely constructed borders, where people can live freely where they choose - not determined by financial resources or power, but by connection to the land, and where people can love freely - whoever, wherever, and however they see fit.  My commitments to making this vision a reality is to bring my full self to the movement, leveraging my access to resources and power, while building deep and long lasting relationships grounded in love, care and interdependence.




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